Posted 4/18/01 Parenting can be both wonderful and exasperating at same time The baby is crying and won't stop and you've walked him for hours, your two little girls were wrestling in the living room and knocked over a lamp, your teen has the day off and you come home from work to find the sink (next to the dishwasher) full of dirty dishes. Familiar stories that play out in the homes of families with children each day. However, when you've had a rough day at work, the bills are late or you feel you have no parenting support, these daily experiences can be magnified and you believe you are all alone in the task of parenting. Parenting can be one of the most wonderful and joyous experiences in one's life. Parenting can also be one of the most daunting challenges we will face. Each stage of our children's lives prepares us, as parents, for the next stage in our parenting development. Yes, we develop as parents. Just as we watch our children develop and grow, we develop and grow in the new role we take on when we choose to raise a child. Along with that choice to parent, comes a responsibility. The responsibility to provide a safe, nurturing environment for our children. Most of us start out on that responsibility without really knowing what it means and how we are going to meet it. We may have babysat for others or our siblings but it is different being responsible 24 hours a day for another human being. Our bag of tricks to comfort a crying child is relatively small at that stage. We start to talk to others who have raised a child, we receive a visit from a public health nurse or we take an early childhood class. The bag of tricks that we can use becomes larger. We see ourselves mastering new parenting skills and our children smiling at us, learning and growing. Soon it's time to begin the process of teaching our children discipline. Discipline is that skill that helps us maintain control and follow certain rules. The rules for our children may include: no rough-housing in the living room or doing dishes. The rules from children to their parents may include: praising me when I try something new, having meals together as a family or attending my school conferences. Just like our children, when we are stressed or in a situation that is new and we are unsure of how to act, we don't act with discipline. When that happens, we place our children at risk for not having a safe, nurturing environment. All of us face tough times as a parent when we don't know what to do, how to handle a new concern for our child's development or aren't sure how we can do all of the things that we are supposed to do and still have some time for ourselves. We are not alone in those times. There are community resources: Crisis Nursery, parenting classes, home visiting programs, parenting support groups, the faith community and our neighbors. Just like our children reach out a hand when they take their first step, parents need to reach out their hand and receive support. Together, we can assure that all of our children will be raised in a safe, nurturing environment and that all parents will have the skills and support they need to raise their children. Please contact Chisago County Public Health at 651-213-0301 or 651-674-4433 if you would like more information on developing your parenting skills. When all of us develop our potential as parents, we will have celebrated April as Child Abuse Prevention Month. Mary Jo Chippendale, MSN, PHN Family Health Supervisor Chisago County Public Health Department ©Post Review