Local woman uses own experience to teach others the importance of not drinking and driving

By MaryHelen Swanson
This holiday season, whether you choose to drink at home, at the local bar or at a social gathering, before you grab your keys and get into your car to drive remember these words from a young woman who knows all too well the pain caused by someone whose driving was impaired by alcohol:
ìI stood there sobbing and telling Todd how much I loved him and to hang on Iíd get help ... I ran back to Todd telling him to hang on that help was on the way. He looked like a mess. His left cheek was all swollen and bleeding.
ìHe was making some kind of gasping noise. I was screaming at him to stay with me. I told him that I could not live without him ... I begged him not to leave me.î
Todd Mallinger died early in the morning Dec. 28, 1997, leaving his fiancÈe, Stacie Behrendt, to face a future without her ìPrince Charmingî about whom she had dreamed often as a young girl. There would be no marriage on Sept. 26, 1998.
Mallinger, 23, was from Cottage Grove; Behrendt from North Branch. The two met while hunting in 1995 at Mallingerís uncleís place. It was love at first sight, she said.With the fifth anniversary of that fateful night quickly approaching, Stacie, now Stacie Mix, wanted to share some of the pain and agony that those left behind struggle with year after year when a loved one is taken from them by a drunk driver.
First of all, Mix wants people to understand she is not against drinking.
Sheís fully aware that it is legal for adults, but wants people to understand the responsibility they assume when they do drink.
ìHe kept saying he was not guilty,î Mix said in a recent interview. ìHeî being the 38-year-old man who left a North Branch establishment that night, crossed the yellow line on Forest Blvd. (Old Hwy. 61) and drove head on into Mixís 1989 Escort station wagon which Mallinger was driving.
ìHeî had a .17 alcohol level, did not have a driverís license, had several previous alcohol-related offenses and was driving a borrowed car.
ìHeî survived the crash, was sentenced to four years in prison 18 months after the accident, and will be released this month.
That thought leaves Mix a little unnerved.
She was the passenger that night, she saw the car in their lane and remembers the blood, pain and horror that followed. That night the dream of a fairy tale life with her fiancÈ - that long and happy future they had planned - ended.
A pile of tear soaked tissues collected on the table as Mix remembered the long weeks and months that followed the crash, the court hearings and the long road to healing, both physically and mentally.
Because the pain will probably never completely go away, Mix has decided to try and make something meaningful out of the tragedy. So she volunteers with the Chisago County MADD chapter.
And she speaks on Impact Panels. The panels are often court-ordered for DUI offenders. Usually there are three to four speakers, victims of drunk driving accidents, who share their pain and loss with people who chose to drink and drive.
When she speaks, Mix carries with her oversized photos of her fiancÈ and the remains of her Escort. She hopes she gets through to at least one or two of the offenders.
She said the response to the speakers on the Impact Panel runs the gamut from those who are truly sorry to those who are hardened enough to say the victims should get over it and move on. Mix said it is often very hard to speak in front of the offenders, especially when she personally knows them.
But she knows first-hand how the panel presentations can impact someoneís life. Mix admits that Mallinger had had troubles with alcohol and had attended an impact panel. Mix said he was truly affected by what he heard. And he straightened out his life, she said. He had been sober three years at the time of his death.
Mix said she speaks on the panels to keep Mallingerís memory alive. Each year, as the holidays near, the pain returns, as do the memories of the accident, the hospital and the loss.
Among the items in Mixís box of memories is a photo of the two of them that Christmas, just days before his life was ended. They looked very happy.
With fond memories of the man she almost married packed in a box for safe keeping, Mix moves on. Sheís been married for two and a half years to George, who comforts his wife as she works through the memories of the tragedy in her past. And today, Mixís life is filled with the antics of their 2-year-old daughter, Mila, and a fluffy, energetic puppy.
But the memories, like some physical disabilities she still endures, linger in her heart. And she thought this was the year to talk about it so others will understand what can happen when you make the decision to drink and drive.
If anyone wants to join the efforts of the local MADD chapter, please contact John and Kim Barney at (651) 674-0660.

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