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Problems make us better

Iíd like to someday see a world where we wouldnít have to gain character by undergoing troubles. Perhaps thatís not realistic, knowing that most things that complicate our lives, when conquered, have a way of equipping us for the future. Hopefully, when we solve a problem, we will not have to face it again, but that, likewise, would be in that make-believe world.
Teaching children how to overcome their problems at an early age is important. Showing them a better solution to crying, throwing a tantrum, or withdrawing is easier than dealing with endless tears, wails and frustrations.
They learn lessons in problem-solving in many ways. At a very early age, they learn by the reaction of those who care for them.
Later they learn that mom or dad, or other caregivers, wonít always be there as a back-up, so they have to work things out by themselves, or call upon outside resources to find the answers.
Activities like scouting, 4-H, church groups, extra-curricular programming all offer opportunities for children to learn valuable lessons in problem solving.
Right now, the conversations about cuts in Extension services, particularly the 4-H programs, are scary. Although I grew up in the Girl Scout program, the 4-H program has become very dear to my heart.
The years my children were active in the North Stars club hold many fond memories. It was hard work, for the children, and myself, as a club leader and parent. I watched as the kids, mine and a host of others, made mistakes and went through trials and frustrations to solve their problems. But they learned so much from their experiences. And I delighted in their victories.
Take, for example, my daughterís very first demonstration. For you not familiar with 4-H demonstrations, this is a presentation given by a club member, pertaining to a project they are working on, like foods, clothing, first aid, etc.
The youth must put together a demonstration of some aspect of their project, gather materials, make charts, signs, anything that will assist in the audiencesí understanding of their project.
And, of course, they must practice so they will perform their demonstration flawlessly.
My daughter decided to make a sweet treat using powdered sugar, peanut butter and sweetened condensed milk, which is not, we eventually learned, the same as evaporated milk.
Because the condensed milk is more expensive than the ìcannedî milk, we purchased canned milk for her practice sessions. I remember the hot summer afternoon when she practiced and practiced in our dining room. She should have had a near-perfect demonstration. And at 9, that would have been quite an accomplishment.
At the club meeting, she set up her demonstration, neatly arranging her supplies, gathered her courage and began to show the other members how to make this special treat.
She was doing great, serious in her presentation, until the time came to add the sweetened condensed milk. Using an opener, the kind for liquids, she punched two holes and turned the can upside down expecting the thick white milk to pour, as it had during practice, into the mixing bowl. But sweetened condensed milk is thick, so thick, it doesnít pour. What a look of desperation she shot at me where I sat in the audience. What was I to do? More importantly, what was she going to do?
The silence in the room was deafening. I could see tears welling in her eyes. I could sense her panic. I didnít want to ruin this moment by jumping in and doing the ìmomî thing, though.
And then, as I was just about to rescue her from this embarrassing moment, she turned the tide by herself. From a serious demonstration gone bad, she created a comedy routine, completed her presentation and had the audience spellbound.
Iíd say she learned a valuable lesson in coping with disaster. A couple of weekís ago, she completed 26 years of education, and will begin her medical practice at the hospital and clinic at Albany, Minn. She might have fumbled through that very first 4-H demonstration, but sheís not fumbling any more and many, many times, she has attributed her successes to things she learned in 4-H.
Perhaps the problems the 4-H program is now facing will only make a great program better.

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