Posted: 12/8/04
By MaryHelen Swanson
Power means to get what you want.
Thatís a message 4th and 6th graders at Jacobson Elementary School learned last Friday.
But it can work two ways, they also learned.
Tom Fagerholm and Ashley Heaston, actor-educators from CLIMB Theater, were at the school to help the young people learn positive ways to avoid being the victim of a bully.
They learned through often entertaining activities how to stay calm yet assert themselves in a bullying situation (see assertive steps in sidebar).
The students listened carefully as the CLIMB presenters shared their 40-minute message.
ìIf youíve ever been picked on over and over by the same person,î Fagerholm told the kids, ìthatís bullying.î
In a show of hands, almost all of the students in the first-hour class felt they had been victims of bullying.
Ninety percent of all students in a statewide survey, Heaston said, said they have been bullied at least once.
The students learned about the words ìacceptanceî and ìintimidate.î
Intimidate means to make someone feel shy or scared. Bullies do this, the CLIMB actors said.
The students responded by listing ways bullies intimidate others - threats of violence, name-calling, gossiping and spreading rumors.
Bullies, the students learned, pick on others because they may be different than themselves: i.e. different color of skin, glasses, clothes, even taste in pizza toppings.
Without promoting violence, the CLIMB presenters encouraged the students to do what is necessary to protect themselves. The students also learned that it is very important to remain CALM.
Cool down, Assert yourself, Look them (bullies) in the eye and Mean it when you say you want them to stop.
Bystanders join in
The CLIMB presenters also told the students that there are often more people around during an incident of bullying.
If you are not the bully or the victim, Fagerholm said, youíre a ìbystander.î
Several students joined the two actors in a scene depicting a group of kids taking sides with the bully against the victim.
Being confronted by a group might make it more difficult to stand up for yourself, they told the kids. But they urged the students to still follow the assertive steps even at such a time.
And to the pretend bystanders, the team asked how they should respond when a bully seeks reinforcement from a crowd.
The students decided they should stand up for the victim while remaining calm.
Heaston told the ìvictimî in the scene not to argue with the bully or the bystanders - just leave. She even encouraged the ìbystandersî to leave with the victim if they are getting nowhere with the bully.
Itís up to you, Fagerholm said to the kids in summation, to create the kind of community in which you would like to live.
You have the power, he said, make a choice and take action.
Heaston told the kids to be sure to always keep themselves safe. If necessary, seek the assistance of a nearby adult, she said. The students were encouraged to talk to a school counselor, teacher, their parents or another adult with whom they feel comfortable, if they feel they are being bullied.
To avoid a confrontation outside of school, the team said, be sure to always walk with someone else.
Fagerholm told the kids that the assertive steps wonít work if they donít use them.
And he explained that as they grow older bullying becomes known as harassment.
ìAnd thatís illegal,î he said.
CLIMB Theater is out of Inver Grove Heights, Minn.
The assertive steps:
1. Say what you see happening.
2. Say how you feel about the situation.
3. Say what you want to happen.
4. Walk away.
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