Iím a single mom with three boys. Iíd like to shed some light on the article, ìFatherís are important in their childís life,î by Gene Banks (Post Review Feb. 11, 2004).
Some fathers cannot be in their childís life. Maybe a death, abandonment or that childís father is in prison.

In our case, three years ago my now ex-husband (of five years) was sentenced to seven years in prison and three additional on parole. This was the outcome of the severely violent crimes against myself.

I stayed with my 19-year job with the city of Minneapolis. I was able to get child care funding through the county, because I received no child support. Now, without warning, child care assistance has doubled. This happened right after I had to buy a new car. I hadnít had car payments for three years.

I think I can speak for many single parents in our situation. We donít believe all the negatives of not having the other parent around.

I teach my boys to open doors for women and to help people in need of if theyíre struggling.

As far as academics, my 9-year-old son is beyond his math and reading levels. My 7-year-old son is average and enjoys school very much.

My 5-year-old is following in my older sonís footsteps.

I do believe fathers are very important.

It was an article that truly bothered me. Single parent children were looked upon as if they had no bright future.

I started my oldest in the big Brother, Big Sister program. Seven years old is the earliest they can start. Unfortunately, it was bad timing for my sonís Big Brother, so the commitment could not be fulfilled.

Recently, I started all my boys in a mentorship program. It is through a church in Cambridge. We go one night a week and they love it.

My three boys have gone through counseling in Minneapolis. My oldest has had one-on-one counseling.

Last year I started to go back to group (support) for myself once a week. The boys are in a play group setting where they talk about whatever is on their minds.

Iíve been seeing a therapist for three years now. I was diagnosed with severe depression.

We donít give up though. We try harder and harder.

Weíre planning to move to northern Minnesota in the spring. All of my family lives up there.

My boys will be surrounded by many male role models.

As long as weíre honest with our children and to ourselves, thereís no room for deceit.
As long as there is love, thereís no room for hate.

I look to my boysí future like this ... one extremely negative male out of our life - three extremely positive males in our future.

Renee Trutwin
Cambridge

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