To the editor:

An article in the June 9, 2004 issue of the Post Review by Lynda Evans titled, ìFathers play a special part in my family,î was brought to my attention. Ms. Evans is an employee of the Central Minnesota Task Force on Battered Women. I happen to agree 100 percent with everything Ms. Evans said.

However, I wonder just how many people out there realize that there is a flip side to this story too? Eight years ago my ex-wife went on a crusade to completely take away my parental rights. I have two children, ages 12 1/2 and almost 15.

The first allegation was sexual abuse of my then four-year-old daughter. My ex-wife knew there had been no abuse, but put our daughter through the rigors of an examination which proved to be unfounded. The next allegation was of domestic abuse by me to her, and she sought help from the Refuge in Cambridge. She has been receiving help from the Refuge for eight years. The domestic abuse charge was also unfounded.

My question to all of you is, how many of you could be abused by a blind man? Yes, I am blind and have never laid a finger on her or anyone else, ever. However, she went to the Refuge and told them some lies, they believed her and she has been using them for the past eight years.

Our friends and family have been taken to court several times by her, and the allegations by her, which were outrageous, never had to be proven. What she said was truth, what we said was not credible. Her lies were believed and the judge ruled in her favor.

One thing was never taken into consideration was my children. As the years went by, my ex-wife had all rights taken from me and no one in my family could have any contact with the children. They started to hate her for what she was denying them, a loving father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.

My children were not in a loving home. They stated many times how they hated their mom. My son ran away three times, my daughter twice, yet never in the eight years had the judge in this case ever talked with them, never asked for proof of allegations made by their mother.

I went to jail for my kids. There was an order by the court for me, my family, friends and any third party to have absolutely no contact with the children. What would you do if your kids would sneak in a phone call to you and begged you to get them out of their home? What would you do if they would appear on your doorstep saying they ran away from a mom they hate? I communicated with them and took them in and for that I went to jail and would do it again.

What I have done in the last eight years has been for my kids that I love dearly.
My ex-wife has taken advantage of places like the Refuge. There are many of us out there that want nothing more than to be fathers to our children, but then there are ex-wives that take such advantage of the system and that is wrong. I am 100 percent in favor of places like the Refuge and other havens for battered women, but when these places are used and abused like my ex-wife has done for eight years, I do get very angry.

All this talk about what is best for the kids is to me a myth. If it were true, the judge would have talked with the children, would have asked for proof of allegations, would have asked for a MMPI of both parents.

School authorities would have played a larger role when the children went to their counselors, the counselors would have listened to them and acted on their concerns.
Again, to convey all that has happened in the last eight years is impossible, but I just wanted to say that there are many of us dads that want to be dads. We love our children, we do not condone abuse of any kind. However, it seems that many vindictive women take advantage of the services out there and that is wrong. Yes, it is very important for dads to be a part of their childrenís lives, but it is also very important to make that possible. It has been a nightmare for our family through the years, but is has robbed my children of eight years of their childhood. I would like to see a change in the system so that people like my ex-wife canít take advantage of services out there for people with real concerns and need for help.

At this time, my children are not in their motherís home. They both refuse to go back. Now that they are older, I pray they will be listened to and necessary steps will be taken to help them. I would also like to see changes made in places like the Refuge so that people like my ex-wife canít use and abuse their good intentions to help people that really need the help.

Dale Rindahl
North Branch

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