From Youth Service Bureau

Everyone knows that addictions are destructive and bad, but all too often we think those bad things happen only to the user. In fact, the negative consequences of addiction will be felt most by those closest to the addict, namely the children.
Kids have a hard enough time figuring things out without having to deal with someone elseís problems. In addition to the added stress, having a parent with an addiction will forever alter the childís perception of themselves and how they fit into the world around them.

Co-dependency is loosely defined as being dependent along with someone. In reality what this means is that any addict will have around them people who care for, clean up after, and enable them to keep using.
These people are dependent along with the addict. They come alongside them and stay there regardless of the negative impacts their behavior may be having on their life.

Co-dependent people often deny their own feelings and needs in order to take care of the addict. They do this for so long that they often times forget how to have their own feelings and opinions. Their world may begin to revolve around helping others and they begin to take on otherís feelings as their own.

Children growing up in this environment are at a distinct disadvantage. They may find their sense of self being wrapped up in their parentís need for attention and care. Not only might they not receive the love and nurturing they needed during the younger years, they may also have a hard time separating from the parent during the critical teen years. With a heavy inward guilt pulling at them to keep taking care of their parent, kids are susceptible to any number of emotional difficulties that may result in self-destructive behaviors later in life.

The good news is that none of this is irreversible. With professional counseling and proper attention, kids can find freedom and emotional health for their future. There are also twelve step groups such as Al-Anon and CoDa that deal specifically with behavior patterns established in families with addictions.

The first step to combating co-dependency is admitting that there is a problem with taking care of an addict and that something needs to change.

Childrenís futures depend on us making healthy decisions today.

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