By Amy Strunk
Youth Service Bureau

Talking to your children about sex and love is not only important, but a delicate responsibility of parenting. You need to be clear and concise, but remember to create an atmosphere that is comfortable and invites any questions that they may have. In this way you can both get your major points across and address their specific concerns.

If youíre getting the feeling that your child is curious about sex, chances are you are correct. Whatever you do, do not procrastinate It is important that they receive proper and accurate information from someone they love and trust, you!

Many parents find that breaking the ice on this topic is harder than the actual discussion, so here are some tips to get your conversation going in the right direction:

Sex is everywhere; use it as a launching pad: We live in an age of oversexed television, movies, and magazines. It shouldnít be too hard to locate an icebreaker for this topic. When you and your child see a TV show or magazine article with sex as itís focal point, use it to begin asking your child questions like ìWhat do you think about what is going on?î, ìDo you understand what is happening?î, ìDo you hear these kinds of things at school?î As a parent, the more you learn about what they already know, the easier it will be to direct your discussion.

Make it as comfortable as possible: Issues about sexuality are going to surface repeatedly in the life of your child. Make them feel comfortable about coming to you with their observations, fears and questions. This not only will help you in your initial discussion, but should keep the channels of communication open as things change and develop in your childís life. Let them know that they can approach you easily with any new concerns.

Silence is not a bad thing: As a parent, you might be highly uncomfortable talking to them about sex. But remember, your child might be just as uncomfortable bringing it up if not more so! Do not assume that their silence is an unwillingness to speak to you. Like you, they may simply be uneasy with the topic. Calmly say what you have to say. Invite questions and discussion. Create an open, comfortable atmosphere. Assure your child that you are available to talk with them when they are ready. Allow them to return to you at a later time with questions and concerns.

Your child will probably be more influenced by conversations with you than you realize. Sex, love, and intimacy are complicated issues. The more you can teach as a parent, the less they will have to learn on their own.

Lakes Area Youth Service Bureau serves residents of Chisago, portions of Washington and Anoka counties. For more information, visit www.ysblakesarea.org.