I want a pet.
Now that I’ve revealed that desire to you all, I must now explain some of the obstacles that are facing me in this venture.
First, my wife and I live in a townhouse.
It’s very comfortable for the two of us, but I’d have to find an unbelievably well trained dog before I’d consider having such an animal in our residence, preferably one that doesn’t defecate.
Generally, you also need a lawn bigger than the small swath of grass we have outside our townhouse if you’re going to be the proud parents of a pup.
That leaves a cat.
I’ve always been a fan of the temperamental little fuzz balls and Jill, my wife, also thinks they’re as cute as can be, but her allergies have put a stop to us adopting or purchasing said critter.
When she’s around cats, the allergic reaction decommissions her nose, and then the tears start welling up like she’s inhaled an entire onion.
I wouldn’t wish that state on anybody, so I’ve forgone surprising her with a fluffy kitten as a gift.
Recently, my hope that we might be able to own a cat was rekindled when I heard of “hypoallergenic” felines on a weekly sitcom.
Surely, I thought the existence of these animals was made up for comedic effect, but after a bit of Internet research – I believe everything I read on the Internet, by the way – I found there are actually cats that can allegedly be owned by people with allergies.
The owners of these hypoallergenic cats purport to have no allergic reaction to the animals.
I found a website that sells small ones – 10 to 15 pounds – and larger versions that look like small cheetahs.
I’m guessing if you purchased one of the bigger cats it would kill you in your sleep.
Seriously, the site says they’re 25 pounds.
But there is a major drawback to these pets: the price.
The smaller feline retails for $6,950.
The baby cheetah costs a whopping $26,950.
I’d rather have a new, mid-priced sedan than a large, potentially aggressive jungle cat or a smaller feline that costs as much as fancy living room set.
I guess I’m not that disappointed that these animals are so expensive, though.
I read on some medically centered websites that people allergic to cats would still likely have allergic reactions to the highly expensive, “sneeze-and-tear-free” ones.
Basically, the sites state the hypoallergenic claim is false.
I’m not going to refute or support that claim, but I know one thing – I don’t have the cash to buy one of those buggers in order to find out if the claim is valid.
I’ve heard the only true hypoallergenic pets are ones with scales, so maybe I’ll get one of those.
Iguanas can be snuggly and taught to play fetch, right?
I want a pet.