Let’s observe National Hairball Awareness Day

Derrick Knutson

Derrick Knutson

I received a press release last week that urges me to “celebrate one of the nation’s most important holidays.”

No, it’s not Christmas, Easter, St. Patrick’s Day or even Presidents Day.

It’s National Hairball Awareness Day.

Someone has apparently decided April 26 should be a day totally devoted to saliva-covered balls of cat fur.

Why is this something that deserves its own day? Also, who decides something is important enough to have a day, week or month dedicated to it?

I don’t know if I have an answer to that first question, but I think I found an answer for the second: “Anyone can apply to their government or to the United Nations to have their day formalized. Unless the day is racist, sexist or otherwise hateful, it is usually accepted.”

I found the quotation-mark-enclosed information by conducting a simple Google search, so it is undoubtedly correct.

On the website where I found the explanation of how people can get days devoted to just about anything, there is a list of strange “holidays” people have decided are worth celebrating. Here’s just a few: National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day, Take Your Houseplant For a Walk Day, Talk Like a Pirate Day, Hug Your Cat Day.

I think these are holidays for the certifiably insane.

Wearing adult footie pajamas to work might lead to a trip to your company’s human resources department not long after you sleepily saunter your way from the parking lot to your desk.

Taking one of your houseplants for a walk would likely raise the eyebrows of your neighbors and possibly invoke jealously from other houseplants you’re not taking for a walk. A spurned plant is nothing to mess with, I’d imagine.

Pirates, if I remember correctly from numerous books I’ve read and films I’ve watched, are generally shot on sight by non-pirates, so perhaps a whole day of “arrrs” and “mateys” wouldn’t be the best idea.

I don’t see a lot of danger in Hug Your Cat Day, unless you own a tiger or other large feline.

Even if you’re not clawed to death by the tiger, lion, panther or lynx, hugging it might cause it to hack up quite the epic hairball.

Then we’d have to expound on National Hairball Awareness Day so it becomes “National Hug Your Large, Potentially Illegal-to-Own Feline and Cause It to Cough Up a Hairball Day.”

up arrow