Here’s hoping for no snow in July

Derrick Knutson
Derrick Knutson

Here’s a scary fact: There has been snowfall in Minnesota every month with the exception of July, according to the Minnesota State Climatology Office.

As I write this column, the weather is warming and the weekend forecast is purporting temperatures in the low 70s and plenty of sunshine.

I’m hoping this is Mother Nature’s way of apologizing for the 13.5 inches of snow she dumped on us April 18 — which is all melted now — but I can’t help being skeptical about this alleged “spring” that is supposedly finally coming.

Not to be a “Debbie Downer,” but I’ve lived in Minnesota my entire life, and I know how quickly and drastically the weather can change.

All one has to do is look at some state climatology records to see what I’m talking about.

According to Wikipedia, which is the foremost source of correct information on the Internet — just ask any high school teacher or college professor — the largest temperature change over a 24-hour period in the state was 71 degrees Fahrenheit. This astounding temperature swing was recorded in Lamberton April 3, 1982.

On April 2, 1982, some Lamberton residents were likely at the beach in their swimsuits or perhaps out jogging in those skimpy runners’ shorts exactly 0.001 percent of the population has the legs to pull off.

The next day, these same residents were probably hoarding provisions such as canned goods, water, firewood and propane, thinking the end of the world was surely near.

They probably assumed a large meteorite must have hit somewhere on the other side of the earth and kicked up a nearly unfathomable amount of dust into the atmosphere, which blotted out the sun and made temperatures plummet.

But this was not the case; it was just another Minnesota temperature extreme.

For those who think the worst is over because we’ve made it out of April, not so fast. The lowest recorded temperature in the state for May is 4 degrees; that record was set May 2, 1909, in Pine River.

Granted, that record was established a long time ago and the amount of car exhaust, canned hairspray and other substances chock-full of chlorofluorocarbons that have been wafted into the upper levels of the atmosphere since 1909 have reportedly warmed the globe, but after the winter/spring we just had, I think global warming might have just bypassed Minnesota.

The forecast for the latter part of this week is going to dip into the chilly range, and there’s even been some talk of that four-letter word meteorologists like to use to describe that flaky, cold, white substance we’ve become all too familiar with this year. But I’m going to go the opposite route I took at the start of this column and say now that I have hope sustained warm weather will come.

If the past 100-plus years the state has been keeping meteorological data are any indication, I don’t think it will snow in July. I have that to look forward to.

If it does snow in July, I’ll be the first manic person hoarding canned goods and fuel at the local supermarket because that would be undeniable evidence the apocalypse is coming.

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