I don’t want to watch hillbillies arm wrestling

Derrick Knutson
Derrick Knutson

If giant hillbillies arm wrestling at various venues throughout the southern United States isn’t entertainment, I don’t know what is.

Wait, check that; that’s not entertainment, it’s just sad.

I wish I were making up the fact that there’s a show on cable and satellite television called “Game of Arms.” This reality show follows groups of brawny men around as they participate in arm wrestling competitions in Pennsylvania, Missouri, California and Louisiana.

While flipping through the channels a couple of weeks ago, I stumbled across this gem, which runs on the AMC channel.

This channel’s initials used to stand for “American Movie Classics,” but, obviously, they’ve digressed from the “classic” path.

I watched about 10 minutes of reality television’s newest dumpster fire before I couldn’t handle it anymore.

It baffles me why anyone would want to watch this type of programming for more than a few minutes — minutes that should be utilized to laugh a bit at the show, shake one’s head and then move on.

In general, I don’t watch much reality television because I think the majority of it is terrible. I don’t care if Honey Boo Boo is coming, who the guys on Duck Dynasty are making comments about this week or if the Amish Mafia is going to break someone’s kneecaps for having too short of a beard.

I will admit to watching a little bit of HGTV, though, because there is some helpful information on that channel.

They show you that you can completely restore a 1920s condemned house in an hour. Well, that’s the amount of time the program has allotted to the restoration, so, logically, that’s the amount of time the restoration should take.

I also don’t mind the Food Network because, again, there’s stuff on there you can use. There are some shows that offer a myriad of tips on how to make delicious, healthy meals in under an hour. I like to watch these shows while eating a plate of pizza rolls, hot out of the microwave.

Well, I would do that if my wife let me have the delicious trans-fat-laden treats that are pizza rolls.

In it’s current form, I would not watch another mind-numbing minute of “Game of Arms.” However, perhaps if they combined some educational HGTV/Food Network-esque components to this show, it wouldn’t be so bad.

If the large hillbillies were to have a quick arm wrestling match after restoring a turn-of-the-century home, I might just watch that. Additionally, if the brawny gents showed me how to make a delicious spring salad for two before locking arms over the greens they had just prepared, I might just tune in.

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