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Nathan: A huge help for parents |
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By Joe Nathan
“I need to know about this!” That’s what Sheri Demou, a Lakeville parent told me about a workshop she recently attended about Youngsters and the Internet. Demou was one of more than 150 people who attended a terrific Saturday morning Parent Fair, put on by the Lakeville and Farmington school districts. More than a dozen workshops covered an array of topics.
The collaborative effort recognized what Sandy Huang, a Farmington parent explained. “It’s not easy being a parent. I want to do it well.”
The two districts joined with several local hospitals and sponsors like Dakota Electric, Caribou, and Target to put on an extremely useful program.
Barry Caplin, Chief Information Security Officer for Minnesota Human Services helped parents understand that some hate groups draw youngsters to their Internet sites by giving away music. He urged parents to talk with their youngsters about what they post on places like “Facebook” and “My Space” because employees and colleges often check these sites as they review applications.
Caplin explained that bullying has not ended, but that cell phones and computers have given bullies new, powerful weapons to attack others. Parents really need to understand the possibilities so that they can help their children deal with what may happen to them.
One of Caplin’s insights was that some students don’t tell parents about cyberbullies, because many parents’ first impulse will to be to take away a cell phone or computer. Caplin thinks that’s the wrong response. Instead, parents need to help children deal with the kind of cruelty that leads some youngsters to post contests like “who is the fattest or ugliest person in this school.”
Imagine getting a text message saying you had won that contest! In some cases, young people have posted pictures of who they describe as “the five ugliest students” in their school. Sadly, some students have committed suicide in response to such “contests.”
Caplin urged parents to read and learn from Web sites like www.stopcyberbullies.com, xanga.com, myspace.com, and facebook.com. He believes that there are good computer games from “reputable companies” like Disney, Lego and Mattel.” But there are also deeply disturbing games
He stressed “age old” advice: “Talk with your children, get educated, urge youngsters NOT to accept something that sounds too good to be true, like candy from a stranger.” He also urged parents to use cyberspace as an opportunity to learn from youngsters.
Marianne Feely, a conference organizers from Farmington, explained that the program began several years ago, with grant support. It was so popular that the districts continue to offer the Parent Fair, though the grant ended. Judy Johnson of Lakeville Public Schools told me that the parents who attended the workshops “generally rated them 4, on a 1-4 scale, with 4 being the best.” Having attended just two workshops, I can see why. Johnson would be glad to tell others how the fair was organized. Her phone number is (952) 232-2355.
Over the last 30 years, I’ve attended many events about being a good parent. This was one of the very best.
Joe Nathan, a former public school teacher and administrator, directs the Center for School Change, Humphrey Institute, University of Minnesota
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