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They call themselves the ‘Beat Cancer Cuties’
By MaryHelen Swanson
You would never think that the bond between two people would be a shared illness. But for two North Branch women that is just the case right now.
Living modestly on 10 acres which is part of her pioneer family’s homestead, Jane O’Brien and the woman in her care, Colleen Lapinski, both have been battling breast cancer.
Jane’s diagnosis
Jane O’Brien has family roots that go deep, back more than 100 years, and she lives on land owned by relatives who were charter members of Trinity Lutheran Church and well-known in the early North Branch community.
Colleen now finds it cool to wear a hat. And there’s an angel pin right on the brim to make it more special. Photo by MaryHelen Swanson
Jane was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2009. Jane had had a routine mammogram in early spring last year and was told to come back in six months (no real concern) because there were signs of some micro calcification in her breast (still no real concern).
Things changed in October when the diagnosis came. Jane has no family history of breast cancer although she had a brother who died of leukemia.
Jane had a lumpectomy in November and began chemotherapy a few weeks later. She completed her treatment March 1. Wonderfully, Jane, following a lumpectomy and chemotherapy, is now considered cured.
Colleen’s diagnosis
About the time Jane was to begin radiation, Colleen went for her annual mammogram. One year earlier there was no indication of the cancer that was now about to change lives again.
Colleen, you see is in foster care at Jane’s home, she has been living with Jane for 15 years.
Colleen, the youngest of six, has cerebral palsy.
Her mother, being a single parent, could care only for the five children, so Colleen was placed in foster homes for the extra care she needed.
Colleen’s mother died in March 2000 of breast cancer.
Colleen’s cancer was aggressive, a high stage 3, almost a 4, and she began chemotherapy treatment.
The chemo is being so successful she may not need a lumpectomy.
A reason for everything
Jane is a modest woman, in fact, she didn’t want a photo taken on the day of the interview.
But she is full of life and excited about the results of the treatment for herself and Colleen and everything else in her world.
Jane thinks it’s possible she endured her cancer to be a mentor for Colleen.
Both had the same great medical team at Fairview Medical Center and because Colleen had accompanied Jane for her treatments, Colleen could better comprehend what was to come for herself.
“She’s a great patient,” Jane said of Colleen, who has remained positive through this all, mostly, one would surmise, because of Jane’s own ordeal.
“Had I not had it first...” said Jane ....“it helped with the care of Colleen.”
“She (Colleen) knows what to expect,” Jane said.
Jane could not say enough about the hospital staff and how they made Colleen so comfortable and treated her so wonderfully.
She laughed noting that they said Colleen was the best patient they ever had.
“Colleen has taken it all so well,” Jane continued.
“She accepts whatever must be done as long as it is explained to her.”
The facts are important, said Jane referring to the treatment of Colleen, but so is letting her know we’ll be there for her.
Colleen’s life in foster homes was not always good, noted Patti Balfanz, Colleen’s sister and now her guardian, who was seated at the table during the interview. Life was often very tough for her sister and she had some serious setbacks.
Colleen had been a ward of the state, and in need of a legal guardian.
So early this year Patti went to court to become Colleen’s legal guardian. And Colleen is so proud to have her as such now.
Family is important.
“Colleen needs to know she has a family,” said Patti. Colleen loves getting cards and letters from her sisters and brother living in other states.
Family means a lot to her, Patti went on.
Over the years, Colleen has become part of Jane’s family and Jane has become part of Colleen’s.
Patti noted that Colleen has a great memory, and even remembers the names of all the doctors who treated her.
Colleen, Jane said, has come to appreciate the work her doctors have done.
The medical people have been so amazing, said Patti, they are special people caring for a special person.
Still, Patti wonders how Colleen processes the cancer and all the treatments in her head.
Colleen has two more chemo treatments and then an MRI to go through.
The team approach
Amazingly accepting of her own cancer, Jane reminded all at the table that day that the women took a “team” approach.
If we’re going to be a team, they had said, we need a name.
They call themselves the “Beat Cancer Cuties.”
It’s all about attitude and support.
They made a party out of it on the day Jane had a post chemo haircut and Colleen had a pre-chemo haircut.
Even chemo sessions can be made more pleasurable by maintaining one’s humor and trying to make the best of the day, Jane noted.
But Jane, looking down at her list of reminders to herself, shared the things she found most important - faith in God and the power of prayer and the support of family and friends.
The two women were included on prayer chains and given prayer shawls.
“You just feel wrapped in prayer, like God is holding you in his hands,” said Jane of the shawls.
Support of family and friends is extremely important. And the two women have received it.
And Jane noted how fantastic the medical team has been for both.
She also noted that the county social workers were great too.
“It’s the little things,” Jane went on, “that are meaningful.” She pulled from her pocket a special coin, and another from the other pocket. And Colleen has an angel pin attached to the front of her hat, it’s the little things like that.
For instance, right before Christmas Jane went in for a shot and was given a packet from a breast cancer survivor. It contained a Bible, coffee, other little things and a brochure.
“It’s such a neat thing,” bubbled Jane, who had a hard time containing her enthusiasm for all the care and support.
“The kindness is fantastic, even from strangers,” she said.
It’s also important to bring something special to chemo treatments, she added, “something meaningful to you.”
She brought a picture of her son with her. “It’s important to make chemo a positive experience.”
Patti noted that cancer treatment has come so far in the past 10 years.
Both Jane and Colleen had minimal side affects.
Jane is an animal lover, owning a cat and dogs and a sheep that thinks it’s a dog.
Last winter when she was going through treatment she was out with her sheep every day. “It was great healing,” she said.
And both women appreciate Ben, a therapy dog that visits the hospital.
Jane could not say enough about the wonderful oncology unit at Wyoming, where she said the staff are knowledgeable and personable, and the volunteers are dear, too.
Don’t have to go through it alone
With the love and grace of God, family and friends and good medicine, no one has to go through this alone, said Jane.
Patti sees Jane as a very special person. “She’s a great foster lady and a very special part of our family,” Patti continued.
Jane has been there faithfully for Colleen through her own cancer and now through Colleen’s.
“We all need each other,” Jane said humbly.
“People need people,” said Jane, and the group at the table that day nearly burst into a rendition of Barbara Streisand’s famous song.
“It’s not the death sentence it used to be,” noted Jane, “still cancer is a frightening word. When you hear that word, you know you’re not dealing with a cold.”
“But there is life with it as well as life without it,” she continued.
“You have to acknowledge it while hanging on to hope,” Jane said.
Jane believes having cancer makes one a more authentic person because you do have to face the reality.
She told how in the beginning she spent one afternoon crying.
“I had to work it out with God,” she said, “it was one day between me and God.”
Cancer evokes a roller coaster of emotions, it’s something that you cannot fully understand unless you experience it, Jane said.
There is good that comes out of cancer, she said.
“All the cliches are really true, it does make you more appreciative of life.”
The bumpy road
“There are so many different facets of our lives,” said Jane who appears satisfied that she lived with her cancer to be that lamp for Colleen.
Life’s roads are bumpy, they all agreed, but Jane noted that we hang in there by faith, even if we don’t see our destination.
Patti sees the bond between her sister and her sister’s caregiver as a beautiful companionship, sharing in an illness and in the healing.
But there’s one more thing, she said, the importance of regular mammograms. She had a message for all women everywhere, “Cancer’s not prejudiced ladies, remember that.”
Colleen makes it known that she is glad to be living with Jane.
And perhaps it’s because her beloved caregiver walked the path before her that she seems more concerned with turning 50 next January (“That stinks!”) than having to wear a hat over her nearly bald head.
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